have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
