Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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