I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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