i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Operation Purity has been aborted
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
