I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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