i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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