So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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