I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
