I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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