Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
