Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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