I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
