me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
