She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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