I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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