I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
