I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So here I am, sexting at work.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
