I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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