dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
