i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
