he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
