Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
