Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
