Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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