You work out of a Hotel?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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