Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you had me at cake vodka
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize