I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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