its not stalking. its research.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
