I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
