Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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