end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just tell him i said nine months
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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