I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
