Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's blow job season.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize