Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
