I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
