I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Randomize
