Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
