it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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