I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
