Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
