Rock
Scissors
Fuck
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
