She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
