That's intense
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think I died a long time ago.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize