his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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