i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
