garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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