It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
