This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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