Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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