If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
