So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize