Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
