Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
