You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
