Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
