You're a womanizer and a bitch.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
