I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize