Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
