It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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