I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
