whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Welp...herpes.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
