so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
