So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
