Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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