So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I would ride that face into the sunset
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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