peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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