'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Two words: nipple clamps
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