is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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