I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
it was like eating out sand paper
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
