O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
