one two three fourrrrnication!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
