they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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