Porn is love you can see.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
